I’m Just Jenn ~ Resetting a Life

Now well into my sixth year of being divorced from a 27-year marriage, I am finally finding my footing. I relocated to Houston, Texas about seventeen years ago because of my then-husband’s job. We made a good life in Texas, raised our kids, and thrived in many ways, and we split. The split left me in a multi-year tailspin of self-discovery that I only now feel that I am landing from.

This was not self-discovery in the romantic way of books or cinema when the person goes to eat pray and love, or hikes the countryside. This was the kind of discovery that came from hospitalization for life-threatening illnesses, and living with such little means that having four or five dollars in the checking account was a feat.

Having hit that kind of rock bottom I did, in fact, discover what I want out of life. I want to be closer to my family, I want to have easy access to nature, and I want to forge genuine relationships. I also know what I want to let go of – the concept of “being cool”, over-hyped restaurants, bands, drinks, and the pressure to adhere to societal ideas about how I, and women in general “should” look. I am also ready to let go of the busyness of the city. I am done with traffic. I am done with noise. I am so so so so done with right-wing politics dictating culture.

Last summer I began to imagine that I could do something different and spent two months of tranquility and beauty in Door County, Wisconsin. I worked and lived in an RV so this was not a luxury visit, but it felt like a luxury with cool, quiet nights and water everywhere. Could this be my dream landing spot? How could I make that happen? The county only has a handful of library jobs, what were the chances that I would be able to find one? What if two opened? Is this meant to be? Is there such a thing as meant to be? Some of those questions are still to be answered, but moving forward is never a mistake.

My move is immenint, just six days from now I will make the reset and time will tell what my future holds, but at least I am taking a shot, breaking the box, and for the first time in my life I will choose where I live my life, for better, or for worse.